I’m Still Here – No….. There!

Since I missed last week’s Blue Monday, http://smilingsally.blogspot.com/ I’m just going to add this onto last weeks story. And in addition, the photos here are from a wonderful visit I had with a lovely group of women from a P.E.O. Chapter in Ocala. They invited me along to Eaton Beach Restaurant on Lake Weir. It was beautiful there, don’t you think? The skies were magnificently blue with low billowy clouds. And my Mahi fish sandwich was delicious!

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This photo is from last summer at Daytona Beach
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A drawing I did of my grand-daughter a few years back with cat, Cassy

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It’s time for a follow-up. A fellow blogger wished me well in going forward after my husband, Roy, died. It’s been a little over five months now and our/my house in Arizona is up for sale and on July 26th, my birthday, I signed a lease in Ocala, Florida and now have a cute little apartment in a wonderful community with people of all ages – yes, I find young people and children seem to give me joy and happiness in being here!

After being widowed I figured it made the most sense to live near some of my kids, and since my daughter and grand-daughter live here we can give each other a helping hand if problems arrive – not to mention enjoying each other’s company! Now that I’m in Florida maybe the day will come and I’ll even get to meet Smiling Sally – http://smilingsally.blogspot.com/! Of course some days, most days, I go through a little “rough” spell but then after a few tears – or a good wail – I’m moving forward again.

Here is something I found out about grief, bereavement. They are just words if you have never experienced a loss that touches your soul. But if it touches your soul grief is an inner emotion/feeling as real as shivering, crying, sneezing, jealousy, hurt feelings, etc. It can cause, what I call inner crying, where the whole body is crying internally – sort of like when you feel a sneeze welling up but it stays within and never erupts externally. I’m sharing this because I honestly had never experienced such a loss before and did not realize the painfulness of grief (even though I knew I’d grieve losing my husband I didn’t realize the physicality of the emotions expressed in grieving). But it has gotten better with each month and with the help of God and the support of my wonderful friends and relatives life will go on. And who knows what Life has to offer!

On a lighter note, I am having a super time buying new furniture and decorating my new home!

P.S. I just missed getting into Blue Monday by an hour so now I’ll have to wait till next week to post on Smiling Sally’s Blue Monday.

Smiling Sally

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11 thoughts on “I’m Still Here – No….. There!

  1. I understand perfectly what you are going through. Trust me, time is on your side. It will never go completely away, but you will be able to deal with it. Best wishes on your new life. Mine has been gone since 1950.

  2. Hi Lessandra,

    Oh, how I ache for you. I have a friend whose husband died not too long ago; she lives in Lakeland. I wonder if just maybe we could meet for lunch. Let me know if you’re interested.

    Meanwhile, I’m so glad you’ve moved close to family. Sometimes, you need an extra hug.

    Thanks for playing today.

    Happy Blue Monday.

  3. I had a hard timing finding the comment button. Oh sweetie. Your post brought tears to my eyes. What does a person say? I cannot say that I understand. But I have felt something similar. My daughter was gosh I don’t even know how to describe it. She was in an abusive relationship and wasn’t allowed contact with family. I grieved her and our sweet grandson. I know it isn’t the same but yet in a way it is. You just have to give up and let God. I heard once that Jesus holds our tears in his hand. I can only imagine how many tears he’s held! I am so glad you’ve been able to come nearer to family. And, your area is beautiful. My word look at your photo’s! I am so glad you were able to post. I am sorry you missed Sally. It’s hard sometimes to get the right time. I’ve been there too. But I am glad you posted your beautiful photos anyway. My prayers are with you and your family. May God give you peace. And may he bring you a new kind of Joy. I am going to look for your follow option so I can stay in touch.
    XXOO
    Sherry

  4. As if that comment wasn’t long enough. LOL. Sorry. I just noticed your Christmas posts. I did sign up for email btw. Anyway come by my blog and check out my Count Down To Christmas linky.
    I would love you to link up!

    • Thanks Sherry. I hope things are better with your daughter and grandson – I know those are very grievous circumstances, indeed. I look forward to the Christmas linky – don’t know how Christmas will effect me this year without Roy, but will definitely try to take part, as I’ve found joining with others helps with healing a lot moreso than staying by myself.

  5. Thanks for visiting my blog, I enjoyed your ocean views, especially the grass-roofed cabanas and the many birds on the beach. It’s great that you can be near your family now, I have a lot of fun babysitting my grandkids.

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