Stress? Who’s Stressed? A Comedy of Errors

The Plumber

The Plumber (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where do I begin with this amazingly eventful day? Not exactly the kind of events you would wish upon any of your friends but so many twists and turns the day has turned out to be a comedy of errors!

Before retiring Sunday night I went into the master bathroom to feed Sunny, our downstairs cat. We keep her food dish high up on the ledge around the garden tub and the kitty box is in the bottom of the garden tub so the dogs can’t mess with either. I noticed a squishy,scrunchy sound under my feet as I walked back and forth over the the plush thick carpet covering the bathroom floor. I bent over and felt it – oh lord! it was saturated with water! Surveying where the wetness started and ended I could see this was quite an extensive flood – maybe six feet by almost four feet wide. If there wasn’t carpeting to soak up all the water it would have covered way more area!

So I covered the wet carpet with chucks (those disposable pads that are so useful when taking care of infirmed parents and dogs that have accidents. One of my dogs will use them if I have one down at all times – but if I forget and there isn’t one in sight he’ll pee on the carpet. Then I use the chucks by placing them face down and stomping all over them, which absorbs all the urine. Yuck!

Anyhow, I’m getting away from our comedy of errors. After covering the soaked bathroom carpet I went to bed. After less than four hours sleep, knock, knock! It’s the yardman letting me know he is finished doing a little yardwork and hauling away the two big branches that broke off our chilean mesquite trees. About twenty minutes after going back to bed DH calls me from downstairs and wants to know whether or not I turned the water off in the water closet. I grumble, “yes”, and realize it’s time to get up and tackle all the things listed on my “call” list.

First, the water company – will they come turn off the water; the plumber, what should I do? Roy has a noon appointment to have a heart stress test, so have to figure out when the plumber can come out. As I went outside to see if I could find the turn-off valve somewhere around the house, who shows up but both the meter man from the water company AND the plumber! I hurriedly lead the plumber into the bathroom, show him the saturated carpet, take him into the other bathroom where I can here water running if I put my ear next to the wall behind the toilet. It sounds like someone has turned the faucet on all the way – it’s that loud! The plumber is talking about probably having to jackhammer the floor to find the leak!

Never mind, can’t deal with this right now; the doctor’s office has just called and would like Roy to come in a little early for his test. So I usher the plumber out after he has turned off the water and the dog finally stops barking her head off. I’m runnning around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. What’s going through my mind is, “Roy’s appointment today, my medical test tomorrow, the closing on my inherited house the day after that. Where do I fit the plumber in?

I get Roy into the car, his wheelchair into the back seat of the car – uh-oh, where are my keys?? I had them in my pocket, unlocked gates on both sides of house to let plumber in, back door, front door – I remember putting them down for a second to do something else – but where? The temperature is probably around 110F by this time, can’t let Roy sit in car for too long….go back in, run upstairs, check pocketbooks, bed, floor everywhere for keys; same downstairs, and finally decide to check with Roy to see if he has his set of keys. Thankfully, he has his keys with him so I run back in the house, set the alarm and – but wait, maybe I left the keys in the garage when the plumber was there. So I run into the garage and leave the door ajar, look around. No keys. As I step back into the house I here the alarm giving its warning signal; I race through the house, but too late! Alarm goes off, scaring our two dogs – they start racing for cover as I turn the alarm off.

A few seconds later the security company calls to see if there’s been a burglary or something and I assure him everything’s okay, just running late for doctor’s appointment. “Okay”, he says, “what’s your security code?” I gave him the password we’ve used for years and he tells me, “uh, no, that’s not it. You’ll have to tell me the correct password or we can’t close this incident”. By this time I’m screaming: “I’ve got to go – call me back later! We’re late, gotta go, good-bye!”

So I head outside and Roy is sitting in the car, on his cell phone: “who’s this? Code number? What are you talking about”? I took the phone from him and insisted again that the code I gave him was the correct one. He insisted it was not. After assuring him I’d call the security company later and find out what our code is, I hung up.

Onward and upward! We head on down the road to the doc’s office. Halfway there I glance at my gas gauge and it’s almost on empty! Oh lord, what next?! But, for some reason, this discovery calmed me right down – it’s like, if I breath slow, stay calm, then I won’t run out of gas. Luckily there was a gas station on the way that I could use my credit card at the pump without having to go inside.

Hurry, hurry! We made it to the Heart Center right on time (forget about getting there early!)  Now I’m thinking I can make all the calls necessary before the closing on Thursday, the insurance company, tax assessor’s office, water company and electric company while Roy is having his test. “Sorry”, sez the tech, “Roy wants you to hold his arm up while he’s having his fourteen minute test” He has a very bad rotator cuff injury and it hurts him like hades to raise his arm. So for fourteen minutes I hold his left arm up as the scan takes pictures of his heart. If I knew I’d be standing for so long I’d have worn my comfortable tennis shoes. (Oh, and neither Roy nor I were supposed to move a muscle or talk).

When the buzzer sounded completion of the test, I waited a few seconds, the tech didn’t come back in, so I went looking for her so I could excuse myself and rush to the bathroom. When I went across the hall to find her, there she was just sitting there jawing with another tech! Boy, was I steamed! I was doing her job! The next phase was the same procedure but only for nine minutes. Well, I thought, she can hold his arm up, not me! When it came time, the tech wheeled Roy back into the exam room and helped transfer him to the scan chair. And then, Miss Techie called me into the room and instructed me to hold his arm up again! I gave her one excuse after the other but she (nor Roy) would have any part of it and once again DH had me hold his arm up 😡

Now comes the good part. Being a glass-is-half-full type person I decided since I had long wished to get rid of the unsightly,  old, pet-stained carpet and replace it with beautiful ceramic tile, what better time to get started than now. So when we arrived home and after having something to eat, I immediately began cutting the 4’x14′ water-saturated carpet up into small pieces,  pulling it away from walls, rolling it up and dragging it through the house and out the door.  Then the padding – the padding was really water-soaked and heavy so I had to double bag it before dragging it through the house or there would be a trail of dirty stained water.  Of course, I found this out through trial and error – error being first load was single bagged which broke, trailing dirty stained water through the house!

Let me tell you, after all that hard work I felt wonderful!  I kid you not.  The feeling was one of working out really hard and having  a sense of accomplishing something worth while – and I guess my cardiovascular system was really feeling good, too!  I only add this because my exercise usually consists of sitting down in front of my computer, getting up to do something, sitting down again – and on  and on throughout the day.  My legs get a work-out but not much else.

And one more good thing: my doctor called and cancelled my medical appointment for the next day – so the plumber could come after all!

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3 thoughts on “Stress? Who’s Stressed? A Comedy of Errors

  1. Great story! I think you’re describing a typical day for a lot of people (I should know, I’m a life coach and I hear it all!). Thanks for adding a touch of humor to the usually not so funny experience of stress.

  2. Thank you Marie. I guess when enough happens one right after the other it suddenly becomes hysterical – or is that just hysteria 🙂 Years ago an elderly lady wrote me a letter that I’ve never forgotten because it struck me as unbelievably funny. She was reciting all the woes that happened to her one day, each one getting more ridiculous – the three I remember most were: she backed her car right into a tree, she lost her job, and the cat ate her babies!!

  3. Pingback: A Time For All Seasons « Home is Where the Heart Is

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